So I'm at a conference. A coworker recommended me as a presenter, so I applied and am in. I had things ready and online. I ran through my presentation with a couple of guinea pigs, and we all survived. I reworked things last night and couldn't fall asleep. My hotel room was fantastic, with windows overlooking a pond and paddling ducks. My sequential alarms helped me enjoy the morning at 6 minute intervals, and then it was time to leave.
Nerves were getting to me even yesterday, so I skipped breakfast. No time to stop for a green tea, so I grabbed a Mtn. Dew from the machine in the lobby. This apparently is not a good start to a day when you're already nervous.
I went to the main speaker, then spent time during the next session trying to prep for my session. No wireless access. Sigh... A nice little techie joined me on my bench and talked me through some troubleshooting things, but to no avail. And if I couldn't access the wireless connections, chances were good that my class wouldn't, either...
The techies got me an ethernet cable and granted me access to the overhead projector. But all my stuff was online--no paper handouts; nothing. Because, you know, the wireless world works. If you're presenting on technology, why not use it?
My class came in...the room filled up...60 teachers staring at me...
I started, and asked for people with laptops and connections to raise their hands. A small handful. How do you walk people through something when they don't have the tools for it? And I was tethered to the machines, unable to walk around like I can in my classroom. Disoriented. Plan D. Some nice looks, then a lady (who could connect) with frustrations. She could follow along if I went slowly enough...but others who couldn't follow along would get bored. Oh sigh... What to do?
My body compensated. I couldn't think. Things got fuzzy. And then they closed in--again. I looked around for a chair to sit in but couldn't see. I moved toward the closest chair, hoping the person would move. She did...but then I didn't know where I was trying to go, and waddled, rear end poised, backward. Someone guided me into the seat, and I barely landed on the edge of it. They were talking and clucking around me, but I didn't know what they said. Someone came back with water. Another had a wet cloth. Trash can... I want a trash can...
They hovered politely nearby, and one of the conference workers came in with juice and crackers. I heard "Are you diabetic?" a number of times. No... Just... I'll be fine...
And soon, I was--more or less. I decided to stay in my chair to give the rest of my presentation. There were more questions, which I muddled through answers to. Some people left early, and I can't blame them...although I probably would have stuck around to see if the instructor actually ended up on the ground at some point.
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