What's the right way to respond when people stand you up? When I realized it was happening, I was indignant at first. Then I tried to justify it. Then I blamed myself. Then I realized how entirely idiotic that was, and put the responsibility back on them. Still doesn't answer my question.
I'm glad I was busy when the courtesy phone call came in and went to voice mail.
"Hey, I just wanted to let you know we're not going to make it, so don't wait up for us."
If I had answered, my response would have been something like, "Oh, that's okay..." Because that's what you're supposed to say, right? You're not supposed to be selfish. You're not supposed to say that you'd adjusted your plans to accomodate your friends and that you were actually excited about the opportunity to spend time together. You're not supposed to tell them that you'd gotten accustomed to people forgetting about you, but were slowly working your way out of that negative psyche. You're not supposed to make them unhappy about their change of evening's plans.
But it still hurts. And you still have that little niggling thought of "See? People
do forget about you" going through your head. And somehow, it stings
you when the atheist friend you waited with learns that people from your Bible study stood you up.
When I realized the irony of that last thought, "Christians aren't perfect" popped into my head. I'd recently told that to a friend who was struggling with being let down by Christians. Huh.
Huh.
It seems silly to forgive people for bailing on you; they didn't lie or commit a malicious act. But I suppose you just forgive them for hurting you. And I think you have to have enough self esteem to realize that your being hurt is a worthy offense--an offense big enough for someone to need forgiveness for.
Today is the
International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. This morning, our pastor talked with a Cambodian pastor via Skype during our services. The Cambodian man told of when Buddhist monks set fire to the house the Christians have their services in. Instead of pressing charges, the Christians forgave the monks. People who heard of it were amazed by the lack of revenge-seeking. They began going to that church, and many were saved--all because a group of people chose God's way over man's way.
Note to self: however you've been burned, forgiveness heals.
