Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bait-Cutting

How long do you keep fishing before you realize you're not getting anything? How long do you stay in a place before you realize there's nothing there for you?

Nothing.

It seems that God has been slowly stripping away things that keep me here. Friends move or have changes in their families, which moves them in a different direction. Others just...well, the connection's missing. They're here. I'm here. Lives are similar...but then I feel awkward and don't interact well, and they think...what...I'm snobby? Boring? Wish I knew...sort of... Anyway, I see myself at 33, still standing against the fence by the dugout. Pick me. Somebody. Please. Not that I want to play, and not that I'm that good at it. Just so I...don't...have to...stand...here...

So that makes it easier to switch "schools," as it were. I hadn't felt the impetus in years, but maybe that's what God is using to make it really uncomfortable here. It's scary to think of leaving my comfort zone...but it's not comfortable.

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