It's Been a While

I found B's comment today--the "Where are you?" one. Sweet B...

I love living in a small town and being an hour or so away from a bigger town that supplies most anything else I could "need." I love that the evening rush hour lasts twenty minutes and consists of, at most, five minutes of idling time. I love safety and the ability to bike or even walk to any place in town if needed.

Then come the times I want to flee--not necessarily to a bigger city, but away from the scenes I don't like here. I don't like not belonging. I don't like listening to event anecdotes from people who hang out with people I used to hang out with. I don't like hearing of their fun times, and knowing I wasn't included.

The more alone time I have, the more time I have to wonder why I'm alone. Contacts and adorable blond highlights seem to have been pointless, which indicates something worse: the problem is with my character.

Well. Doesn't that just suck?

So, B, dear, this possibly accounts for my lack of blogging. If my words have a negative slant, they should be leading up to a positive ("I thought blah blah blah, but then I realized blah blah, and that was good!"). Or they should be funny. And right now, they're neither. My closest friends are married with families, which means our situations aren't the same for both conversation and scheduling.

I've heard, "You're young and single! Have fun!" Okay. With whom?

And I wondered why I'd gotten so stinking autonomous...