After the whining and moping of earlier this evening, I realized that other factors had compounded my frustration. A minor one is now solved...I hope...
Do you ever get something in your head that you can't let go of? I'd thought the movie "WALL-E" would be interesting to see if I got the chance. Then I mentioned it around friends, and one seemed particularly interested in going. That got the idea stuck in my head: the little group of us would go.
Only, it didn't work out that way. I made a tentative plan and didn't hear anything back from the others. I made another suggestion, which didn't work out for one of them. The negatory response didn't include an option for another time, so I wondered how much further to go. How does one be an effective communicator without being pushy?
In the meantime, it seems that other people I used to spend time with have already seen the movie. So, not only does that make it quite difficult to find accompaniment, but it also smacks of "I didn't get invited."
Tonight's cheap night at the theater, and I tried to get a different set of friends lined up. Both offered their "maybes," and then neither worked out.
The point isn't the movie at all, though I'm beginning to hate it. The point is, I really wish I fit somewhere. Where _does_ an almost 33-year-old non-bar-hopping single female fit in a small town?
And that's really not the point of this at all, though I've let myself start crying again.
When, through my tears, I ask God "WHY?", He reminds me of others who are lonely and others who want or need my attention. I spent time with my grandparents tonight, and afterward, called another friend. Seven years ago, I babysat her infant son in the church nursery. He hadn't yet reached the crawling stage, and the other inmates were all toddling. Therefore, he was my watch, my charge, the little creature with the soulful brown eyes. And now, I have a "date" to see "WALL-E" tomorrow.
2 comments:
Oh, how I feel your pain...... and yours must be worse.... See, we have ONE set of friends here in town because, well because of different things in my marriage, and so this one set of friends met other friend two years ago. This is fine, they are free to do that....BUT.... why are those friends invited to ski trips, and we're not. Why are THOSE friends always going fun places with them, but we're not. What's up with that?
We used to do more with these friends,and we still love and enjoy being with them, but I will never understand the ski trips and all the adventures they go on sans us.
~B
Thank you, B!
I reread my thoughts and am further frustrated by how childish I sound--"They won't play with me!" I see this all the time with the middle schoolers I teach, also. Strange, how it continues even into adult life! Thanks for sharing that I'm not the only one!
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