Ever been so lonely that you just wanted to be...alone?

I think maybe Jesus at Gethsemane felt like a single teacher at the end of winter--crap yet to be put up with, and going it alone.

Again: "Huh--He does get me!

UPDATE, about an hour later: I caught up on emails and six or so online Scrabble games. I checked local and national news, ate a sandwich, drank a pop. Nothing, nothing, NOTHING fixed my loneliness, frustration, angst. Didn't I write once about a child fighting off sleep? And how I do that with Him? So I caved, went to my "Devotions" bookmark folder, and found a link for "Hate Your Life." (Things aren't that bad, but I appreciated the sentiment.)

What I hadn't realized all that time was that God was waiting for me. He was waiting for me to be willing to decrease so that He could increase. He was waiting for me to say (and believe) that I needed Him more than I needed my dreams to happen. He was waiting for me to know that His grace is more than enough to not only heal my broken heart, but to fill it overflowing. He was waiting for me to realize that no check-marked box on the agenda list of my life could make me feel as whole and fulfilled as picking up my cross and following Christ would. He was waiting for me to trust that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

I had planned out my destination. I had prepared for the journey. I wanted to go where I wanted to go. But, while I prayed and begged to move ahead, the Lord wanted me to stand still. Like Moses told the children of Israel, I knew the Lord was saying to me, "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace" (Exodus 14:13-14).

The Lord will...fight for me? For me?

Yeah. It's that kind of love.