Axis? No, allies...
I was thinking about them rather much this past week. There are two who live nearby, and thank God for the friendships that have developed. They are only due to His grace and mercy.
During the past few weeks, our pastor did a sermon series on grace and truth--how you can't have one without the other. One of those Sundays, He talked about them in the context of restoring relationships. The irony hit me as I realized I was standing in the control booth next to "Stan."
Stan and I realized after we dated that we should never have moved from the friendship field to the romantic field. I learned a lot and I liked a lot, but a permanent togetherness wasn't part of God's plan for our lives. After a semi-awkward year of not speaking to each other, a switch was flipped and we resumed conversations. Despite my not having a text-messaging plan, he's someone I'll accept messages from (if they have a point!).
Some of the pastor's points from that Sunday:
- God forgave me a debt I couldn't pay.
- When I give grace, it proves I've received grace.
- It protects me from other sins.
- It gives both the offender and me freedom.
- It's the only way to get rid of blame and pain.
- It breaks the cycle of ungrace.
- It gives the offender the opportunity to change.
- It keeps me positioned to receive God's grace.
- The only thing harder is the alternative.
During one of those, I nudged Stan. *That's why we can talk now!* I whispered, or something to that effect. He nodded uncertainly...maybe I didn't whisper loudly enough...
It was so fantastic to have a series of "hammer notes" hit in points that confirmed things (opposed to painful jabs of truths I haven't yet dealt with). I leaned back against the wall, listened, and reflected. I smiled again.
A little after eight, "His Highness" had called. He croaked out that as he'd finished caring for his elderly mother who had the flu, he'd contracted it. After suffering the symptoms for a sufficient number of hours, he was finally feeling hungry. Unfortunately, health food freak that he is, he didn't have any sick people food at his place. Could I bring him some? He went through a list, and I told him he'd have to tell me again when I actually woke up.
An hour later, I dropped bags of groceries on his mat and ran. Half an hour after that, I was reflecting on Stan and on my past with His Highness. They are as opposite as possible within a conservative Christian environment. Stan's ear piercings and braidable beard contrast with His Highness's Adrian Monk-like nature. The eighteen years between them bring up generational variances. (Yes, yes, I dated both of them; I have a wide range of interests!) And there I was, on a morning when our pastor preached about restoring relationships--God had blessed me with positive interactions with both!
The Friday before Valentine's Day, a group of us got together at a friend's house. Stan became affixed to the TV, sitting through an hour-long concert in hopes of hearing his favorite song by that artist. The rest of us, His Highness included, played Boxers or Briefs (really, much cleaner than you may imagine). Finding Stan behind me and facing the opposite direction, I leaned back. He stayed; I stayed. That in itself was a small-scale model of truth and grace. "There was a time I thought you were a pig, but God has forgiven me of much more--how could I hold anything against you?" (We both could have said that.) No, we don't have an interest in dating each other, but we're comfortable enough with each other to be comfortable with each other. That's a blessing.
Blessings continued, via the game.
Have you ever played Boxers to Briefs? Each person has seven cards with five or so sentences printed on them. One person rolls a die. If the die turns up, say, red, then the other players look at the red sentence on each card they hold. They select one according to what the die-roller will think is funniest or truest about him/herself. The die-roller then reads off the sentences, much to the laughter of him/herself and the others.
When it was my turn, I apparently rolled the color my lovely and talented friend HA had been saving for me. She grinned as I read aloud from one card, "I date crazy people." With Stan at my back and His Highness to my left, I had to agree. HA got a briefs chip (for submitting the most true option). Blessing: my friends know that my exes and I have reestablished friendships. It's clear; it's confirmed.
A few turns later, His Highness's wish was granted. Since he's on the upper end of the "Stan and His Highness Time Continuum," he was quite amused to play the "I like younger men" card for me. Sharing his quirky sense of humor, and with young Stan still at my back, I honored His Highness with a boxers (funny) chip. Blessing: my exes know there's humor to be found when history links to the present.
I drove home that night, and my heart felt full. Yes, yes, a dateless Valentine's was looming, but it was so tiny in perspective to the blessings I realized He had been pouring down.
Post Script: it wasn't a dateless Valentine's Day--for me or for anyone else. Take heart, dear friends! We shall assign it a date: February 14. There! Dateless no longer!
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