Highness called as I was leaving work.

"I sent you a Facebook message, but wanted to call, too."

"You called me to tell me you sent me a Facebook message? I get messages in my email inbox about that, too, you know--but how nice of you!"

"Yeah... You remember K and D [old friends]? Well, they were packing to move, and were cleaning, and this window was open..."

He paused too long. Talk faster. Keep going. This isn't good.

"Yeah...?"

"Well, their two-year-old daughter..."

Another pause.

KEEP TALKING.

"Well, she got up into the window...and she...fell out..."

"And...?"

"And she died instantly."

End of life? The pretty little baby I'd held at the outdoor wedding of mutual friends... This beautiful little thing I'd comforted by walking around and around with under the shade of trees... The first child of her parents...the treasure of their hearts... End?

Hours later, after the events of the evening, I googled her. Ten results...the only person with her name... Only one news article mentioned her humanness--running around in brightly-colored springtime boots, smiling and laughing. To everyone else, she's a number, a cause, a past part of someone else's life. A little girl noted amid ads for medical advice, preventing identity theft, and unlimited nationwide calling.

I am entirely of the opinion that a midlife crisis consists of dealing with wrinkles and zits simultaneously. It's been a bit of a skin-care dilemma of late, but tonight--tonight cured all.

Last night, I got repeated text messages from a friend/coworker: "You should come downtown. My fiancee's friend is in town, and he's single."

Bars aren't my place, and being thrown into a "Hey, you should meet this guy" situation on top of that wouldn't make for a good first impression. And I was getting a cold...and I was tired...and I had some ministry work to finish... So I didn't.

Tonight, a few of us from work went to a movie. Side note: don't bother with "Leatherheads" at full price. If you don't watch it for its quirks, it won't be worth it even on cheap night. L actually dozed off a few times; but then, she's not an Office fan, so she can be forgiven. In light of her disappointment with the movie, I decided to accompany her downtown afterward. Therein lay the highlight of my evening. It wasn't in the setup, but in, ironically, the door girl.

L and I walked into the bar and grill, and she paused. I noticed her flipping open her wallet and realized, from my college days of playing pool with a friend at the bar across the street, that this was ID time. I slid mine out of my wallet, handed it to the girl, and held my breath. I'm 5'1"...what if she thinks it's fake... She studied it, then handed it back.

"You look amazing for your age."

I...uh...I...thank you...

"Brown Eyed Girl" came on the radio, and though L is 6'1" and strikingly beautiful, I didn't feel shorted on anything as we strode down the aisle to meet her friends.

A Good Day, in All...

So I'm at a conference. A coworker recommended me as a presenter, so I applied and am in. I had things ready and online. I ran through my presentation with a couple of guinea pigs, and we all survived. I reworked things last night and couldn't fall asleep. My hotel room was fantastic, with windows overlooking a pond and paddling ducks. My sequential alarms helped me enjoy the morning at 6 minute intervals, and then it was time to leave.

Nerves were getting to me even yesterday, so I skipped breakfast. No time to stop for a green tea, so I grabbed a Mtn. Dew from the machine in the lobby. This apparently is not a good start to a day when you're already nervous.

I went to the main speaker, then spent time during the next session trying to prep for my session. No wireless access. Sigh... A nice little techie joined me on my bench and talked me through some troubleshooting things, but to no avail. And if I couldn't access the wireless connections, chances were good that my class wouldn't, either...

The techies got me an ethernet cable and granted me access to the overhead projector. But all my stuff was online--no paper handouts; nothing. Because, you know, the wireless world works. If you're presenting on technology, why not use it?

My class came in...the room filled up...60 teachers staring at me...

I started, and asked for people with laptops and connections to raise their hands. A small handful. How do you walk people through something when they don't have the tools for it? And I was tethered to the machines, unable to walk around like I can in my classroom. Disoriented. Plan D. Some nice looks, then a lady (who could connect) with frustrations. She could follow along if I went slowly enough...but others who couldn't follow along would get bored. Oh sigh... What to do?

My body compensated. I couldn't think. Things got fuzzy. And then they closed in--again. I looked around for a chair to sit in but couldn't see. I moved toward the closest chair, hoping the person would move. She did...but then I didn't know where I was trying to go, and waddled, rear end poised, backward. Someone guided me into the seat, and I barely landed on the edge of it. They were talking and clucking around me, but I didn't know what they said. Someone came back with water. Another had a wet cloth. Trash can... I want a trash can...

They hovered politely nearby, and one of the conference workers came in with juice and crackers. I heard "Are you diabetic?" a number of times. No... Just... I'll be fine...

And soon, I was--more or less. I decided to stay in my chair to give the rest of my presentation. There were more questions, which I muddled through answers to. Some people left early, and I can't blame them...although I probably would have stuck around to see if the instructor actually ended up on the ground at some point.

Advice on Shopping for Men...or Clothing...

#1: Just because you're not a size 6 anymore doesn't mean you're a size 2. If you don't fit with a 2, it's okay. There may be a misplaced 4 around.

#2: Your favorite item may seem to be out of your price range right now, but don't disregard it completely. It may go on sale after time. Even if it doesn't, chances are good that you'll find something quite comparable and even more happiness-inducing.