Isn't _Every_ Family Like This?

Crowing about Conservation

"...I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required," [Sheryl Crow] wrote.

I...uh... What size roll does she have?

Highlighting Hygiene

There are actually funny parts in this one--like, laugh so hard you almost hit your head on the counter and almost give yourself a concussion. Almost.

'Tis the Season

Assignment: comment--how many minutes did you make it through?

Regatta

I took a drive yesterday to watch Dad take off on a canoe & kayak regatta. There was thunder and lightning the previous night, and Saturday was still rather overcast and gloomy. Winds whipped along at 20-30 mph, but the organizers decided to carry on anyway.

As I stood on a peninsula and waited to get Dad's taking-off picture, I recognized a former Sunday school teacher's husband paddling along in his canoe. In his floppy hat and vest, he paused and looked up at me. "Wheech way to Amereeca?" he smiled.

One man in a yak like Dad's lost his hat for a moment. Whipping his arm back to grab it, he also lost the correct placement for his center of gravity--and flipped. Dad tried to help but couldn't slow down enough to do anything in the current current. He pointed out a less-steep bank a little farther along, and suggested the guy float along until he reached a better place to land and empty his kayak.

As I left the takeoff point to visit B in her nearby town, I heard geese overhead. Looking upstream, I watched them touch down into the water.

The camraderie among the yakkers and canoers was encouraging. The start of the event fostered conversation among participants and bystanders; I could have asked anyone anything and become engaged in interesting conversation. Driving to a downstream bridge, I found myself following a van towing canoes. Behind that was an SUV with watercraft mounted on top. Not knowing exactly where I was going, I started following them. A few gravel roads later, we reached the river and stopped. It turned out that the SUV driver had started randomly following the van driver, as well. We chatted a bit with an elderly man who was already at the point and had watched a number of paddlers pass, then one of them told me how to get to the bridge I was looking for.

I found the bridge (as well as an interrupted fisherman--far left in paddler's picture) and had a perfect 10 minute wait in the wind until Dad glided along.

Last night, a thunderstorm. Today, more rain. Tomorrow, a little yakking for me?

Sex and Singles--An Assignment for My Five Readers

Assignment: Check out the thoughts of these other people, and feedback through your comments.

My favorite line: Many of the men are so afraid of being "too familiar" with a woman that we get treated as genderless objects.

I've recently been realizing that I have a friend who treated me fantastically as a woman. I was free to be girly and feminine around him and delighted in that.

Something has changed, and I'm not sure when/how/what. Did I say something? Do something? Did he think something? Did another think something and say something? Why did our quality of interaction change? I now feel more defensive than endearing. How do you remember who you are when people you're close to, treat you like you're not?

And how do you treat the opposite sex as a member of the opposite sex when it seems you're the recipient of undesired interest?

On the flip side, how do you maintain perspective so that a door held open doesn't equate a marriage proposal?

The _Woman_!

82-year-old shoots out intruder's tires.
Best line:

She had to balance
on her walker as she pulled out a snub-nosed .38-caliber handgun.

Six

Six of the thirty-three were teachers? Oh my...

A Little Something Else

How about this for an idea: How about we honor the grieving families, survivors and student body through our thoughts and prayers and otherwise respectfully keep quiet while allowing the FBI, state and local authorities to finish the investigation without throwing speculative spitballs at everyone from the campus police to the university president.

How to Pray

I got this from a friend yesterday, who is connected to someone who is connected to someone in Blacksburg.

Greetings from Blacksburg - I have been overwhelmed by yesterday's events as well as the great outpouring of compassion from people writing and calling from all over the country and the world. Many of you are wondering how to pray - here are a few specific requests at this time:

-Pray for the body of Christ, through the churches and campus ministries, to be united in expressing the hope we have in God.

-Pray for physical stamina and rest for all the leaders in our community, from campus administrators and pastors down to student leaders. We are tired, physically and emotionally! God is our strength.

- Pray for a freshman student, Lauren, who was involved with the international student ministry through one of our partnering organizations - she is currently missing and was believed to be in the classroom building where the shooting occurred.

-As the news has spread about the shooter's South Korean heritage, please pray for the large Korean population in Blacksburg . Because of their community-centered rather than individual-centered orientation, Koreans are culturally more likely to identify with the shooter and to feel shame and/or guilt One of my Korean student leaders expressed this morning, "I do not know him personally. But, as he is of Korean descent, I feel responsible for the situations to some degree. And, I am really sorry..."

Once again, I am most grateful for all your expressions of concern and support. I'm sorry that I cannot reply to many e-mails and calls during this time, but know that I'm receiving them and they mean a lot. I'll send more news later this week.

In Christ, our living hope...

A Little Too Ironic, I Really Do Think

Holocaust survivor dies in American school shooting

To survive such forces of evil, then to die at the hand of one he came to serve...

Wow. That's kind of the Easter message, isn't it?

Are You Serious?

First co-racial prom at one Georgia school...

My mother grew up in the days of the civil rights movement. She was picked on by her peers because her best friend was a little black girl. A generation and a half later, it's the kids themselves who are still calling for segregation in so many places? Way to go, parents. Fantastic legacy you've passed along.

And the Moral of the Story Is?

Update on Keeping

Sigh. No wonder I have a hard time putting my shoes away.

Current tally:

• Boots: 8


• Sandals: 14


• Dress: 8


• Casual/tennies: 5


• Slippers 4-5

Minus 1 pair each of sandals, casual, dress and boots for the give-away pile. Good job, Goalie.

On Keeping

I have this insane desire to keep everything I've touched. A wind-up Yoshi from a Burger King kids' meal. An envelope His Highness put an ice cube in (sealed in a plastic bag, of course) and left for me as a joke (long story). The packaging from my quad-spaced AA battery charger, in case something goes wrong and I need to take it back. Packaging from my eyeliner, so I can remember which brand and style I like...as long as I can distinguish the package of the product I like from the package of the product I didn't like... A black dress that doesn't fit me well, but that I could do something really creative with at some point, because it doesn't matter if I absolutely ruin it.

Waking up today, my eyes spotted a monthly prayer card on the floor across the room. It was nestled with four others from the same couple, missionaries to the people of Cambodia. At that moment, I had a profound revelation: those cards aren't meant to be kept. They're insightful and educate me on ways of life and ways to pray, but their purpose is to convey information, not clutter my habitat.

From my reservation days, I remember a team meeting in which we discussed some pointless approach to a student problem. "But what would be the purpose?" was my question when the higher-ups and more knowledgable ones had offered their advice.

Afterward, my coworker, "Junior," pulled me aside and laughed. "But what would be the purpose?" he mimicked me. "I was wondering the same thing!" he exclaimed. Forever after, that was our catchphrase.

So now Junior's face comes to mind as I glance about my surroundings. Promotional computer bag with little padding and a self-unfastening strap: what would be the purpose? A notebook from junior high, with 20 sheets of paper still inside: purpose? Antibacterial lotion bottle with less than a squeeze left inside... The list goes on, but not for long.

How to Make Money off Your Multiple Personalities

Easter Bomby...I Mean, Bunny...

Alternative Easter Egg Hunt Near White House to Use Fake Cluster Bombs Made By Kids

Brian Hennessey, a spokesman for the Vineeta Foundation, a group sponsor, said the event aims to be humorous and fun for kids. Organizers also want to bring attention that cluster bombs cause death and destruction, Hennessey said.

So...they're saying that death and destruction are humorous and...fun?

As my father commented, that's a pretty far leap.

I guess it's possible, for the Easter Bomby--Bunny.

What Big Eyes You Have, Grandmother!

All the better to see into the cooler with, my dear...

IdiFlippinOtic

Teachers Drop Holocaust, Crusades From History Lessons to Avoid Offending Children

We've changed adjectives, nouns, holidays and national pledges so as not to rub anyone the wrong way. Now we're changing history? Sorry; not changing, just omitting...

Little Shlomo's great-grandfather couldn't have been incinerated in a crematorium--that would offend poor little Hans.

It's history, and the majority of our people have messed up. I'm part Norwegian; the Vikings did their share of raping and pillaging. I'm also English--the sun never sets on the Union Jack? That all didn't come together tidily. Then there was that little thing called the American Revolution...

Minoring in Native American studies in college, I started to get a guilt complex just for being white. Look what my people have done to them! Someone kindly pointed out that A) the tribes warred with each other before the white men came along (and tried to decimate them), and B) you aren't the one who did it.

There are ethno-sensitive ways to teach, and I suggest these people try harder to find them. "Japs" and "Krauts" would probably not be on my vocab list for World War II. Throw in a little equal-opportunity cruelty, though, and mention the effects the atomic bombs (we dropped) had on the Japanese people. Talk about how people had designs from their clothing tattooed onto their skin by the blast. Those black letters spelling "Nike" on your little white shirt? Picture them burned onto your chest. Mention people jumping into the water to avoid the fires. Picture the person who, from a boat, reached into the water to pull someone to safety...and the person's skin slid off in his hand...

And then talk about why. Why did the US drop "the bomb?" We believed it would save more lives in the long run.

Why did German people do such atrocious things to Jewish people? Keep in mind that it wasn't all. Some tried to get rid of Hitler. Some people chose to protect their families and had to harm others to do so. Maybe try using the term "Nazis" rather than "Germans."

Why did so many Germans follow Hitler? Because they were looking for an economic and nationalistic savior, and Adolph availed himself to them.

The Crusades are harder to explain around. View A: Become followers of the Prince of Peace, or we will kill you. View B: I really want your land, and God said I could take it. Disillusioned post-WWI Germans following Hitler makes more sense than those.

Point: somebody has to point out the horse crap in the road before you can avoid stepping in it.

"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." --George Santayana